Poetry and me

Why do I write poetry?

I ask this to myself because sometimes I want to know the answer as well. I write for the lone purpose of a dear friend of mine. This friend opens doors for me that lead me on a path that no one has tread before. My friend is more than a friend. At times I feel like this friend of mine is actually a part of me. This friend has done marvelous things throughout the world. My friend takes me places unseen to the human eye. My friend is the purpose of this creativity of mine.

I started this blog for my problem that I have. When I first started writing I didn't have a blog, I wrote them on paper and kept them in a secret place. It felt good writing with a ball point pen on lined paper. I just couldn't keep those lines all to myself. I HAD to share them. That is my problem. I can't keep this contained within me. I have to get it out. This blog is getting it out of me for those around me to see. Maybe someday I'll get a lot of attention for this blog but for now I just write because I need to help myself.

The only bad thing about poetry that I can find is that when I am done writing I feel depressed and don't know how to get out of it. I feel down and lonesome. At times I just want to cry. I hate what poetry does to me afterwards. I love writing poetry. This love/hate relationship is hard to deal with. I don't know what to do sometimes and try to find hope that I'll get out of the slump of being down.

I have shared my poems with others and they think that my poems are amazing. To me they are basic. Not the best but a step above good. Through poetry I express how I feel. I tell the world my emotions. I can get out what I can't say. Poetry at times is my life. My poetry comes on inspiration, I just can't sit down and write all the time. I have these thoughts that come into my mind and then I just expand and go with that thought. I think about my friend and how amazing my friend is. I write for help, the help I'm not quite sure of. But I write because it feels good. When I hit the publish button the pain and agony that is upon me is lifted away. I feel more relaxed because I am helping my problem. Then again five minutes later I feel down because of the mood that poetry does to me.

I stand tall but feel short.
I yell but it sounds like a whisper.
I try and sometimes succeed.

I love you, goodbye

There's nothing more than I hate more that is walking away.

Walking away hurts me.

You say go, inside I say no.

Putting that first foot forward is the hardest thing imaginable.

I hate dragging that second foot behind.

Cement shoes would come in handy,

I'd never have to leave.

I wish for that day when I won't hear the word: goodbye.

Hearing those seven letters drives a seven inch nail into my heart.

Removing that nail is painless, when I hear I love you.

But then when the night is over that blood soaked rusty nail rests on point above my heart.

That closing of the door behind me is the wooden club that pounds that horrible nail back into me.

Walking back home with that nail makes me cold inside.

When I roll over in my sleep I am awakened by a sharp pain.

That pain is like nothing I've ever felt before.

Sharp, deep, horrible, uninvited, dirty, filthy.

That pain is not welcomed at all.

Till that day when I hear no goodbyes

and only I love you's.

You

On my darkest days I can find the sun,
n my saddest days I can find happiness.

When I am down I know how to get back up,
when I can't do it anymore I can find a reason to keep going.

If I get troubled I can be corrected,
if I get hurt I can be better.

I can find reasons to smile,
I can be the best I can be.

When I become nervous I'll get calm,
when I struggle I'll succeed.

How? By you.

I can find the sun through you,
I can find happiness through you.

You help me back up,
you tell me to keep going.

Through you I can be corrected,
through you I can be better.

I smile because of you,
I am the best because of you.

You calm me,
you help me succeed.

Dam part 2.

-You can think what you want about this poem
but I know what this poems means. That is what
is wonderful about poetry, many meanings.
Lady J is not a dam. DK is my dam. If you read
this and think I'm a horrible person, then you
can live the rest of your life thinking that I'm a
horrible person and I'll live my life how I want with
happiness. Poetry is an escape for me, it helps me
get what I want out of me. If it wasn't for poetry
I'd have more problems with me. You can judge me
about this poem but I know what they really mean.
You can try and figure them out, sometimes you'll be
right and sometimes you'll be wrong. So what did we learn?
I write because it helps me. This poem is not about a girl but a
guy.-

weather

when i walk i walk with a cloud above me.
that cloud is dark and gloomy.
i wish that could would leave.
God created the heavens and the earth.
along with the earth he created the weather.
He created this cloud which hovers above me.

as i walk to class i look up and see the unwelcomed cloud.
i curse the cloud for knocking on my door and staying.
i wait for the day when the sunshine will dispearse
the cloud i hope that the cloud will never return.

when i walk into a building the cloud remains outside
waiting for my return. i can never get away from
that awful cloud.

i pray and wait for the day when i can look up and
not see the cloud. will that day come? no one knows.
all i can do is wait and try to not let the cloud get me down
with all of it's gloomyness.

i must move one and look straight not up.

Dam

I am human. I will make mistakes and I have
made mistakes. I still move forward. I am reminded
of what I have done. I shake those memories
from my mind and move forward.

There are people here on earth that can't let
people move forward. They are daming people.
I move on but get stopped for a while. I find
the opening and take it, and move on with
my life.

I'm sick and tired of coming to the dam, I want
these times to stop. If I come to another one
I will blast through it and not let it
get me down. Nothing will be able to hold
me back.

For those people that are dams, you're only daming
yourself. You're not making any progress
in your life and you're haltering the
onward process of others. You're doing no
good, you're taking up precious air and space,
change your ways.

If I come up to another dam I'll get
around it and not be stopped. Try as hard
as you want or can, but I'll be giving
my all and I'll get around and move on.

Don't give up.

A lone raised hand in a classroom of a few never
gets called on. The lone hand stays up waiting
for the time when it can be lowered.

A happy smile never gets accepted by the passerby.
The smiler stays smiling hoping that someone
will accept the smile.

The passenger tries to speak to the drive admist his talking.
He can't get a word in but waits for the
opportune moment to say something grand.

A child walks the streets looking for someone to play
with. He doesn't find anyone yet and continues
on till he finds someone.